Rules for outings into officialdom

1.  Getting there will be the easiest part.  Today's gas masks outing, for instance, was actually facilitated by a FREE cab ride, courtesy of the Ministry of Absorption, because there are several new families in the merkaz klitah who haven't received them yet. 

2. Bring a book or some other device capable of entertaining you, for several hours, if need be.  playBook, check!   Say what you want, it has been a very faithful travel companion.

3. Bring water.  Wear a sunhat. If an office gets too full, you may well be waiting in the Great Sticky Outdoors.  not a problem today - when I looked up where to go for a gas mask in the Haifa area,  I found an article from yesterday listing an easily-located post office.  so natch, as our group prepared to leave the merkaz klitah, we were told that due to high demand, they were being issued in a "sports centre" in a totally different location. It was actually the shadeless, scorching parking lot of a stadium - fun!  Happily, there were some tarpaulins thrown over a few sections of the crowd, free and plentiful water provided to all who were waiting in line... And cheerful Magen David Adom ambulances standing by to cart off or revive anyone who fainted. (I only personally saw them hauling away one person, so how bad could it have been???)

4. Leave all children behind, if possible. Short, quick errands can turn into horrific long ones in the blink of an eye.  That didn't happen today ; the absorption coordinator said only one of us needed to go,and as we were leaving the merkaz klitah at 1:30, a group of women came back who had left earlier in the morning.  So we knew it could take 3-4 hours. Ted tagged me to go alone while he stayed behind and hung out with the kids at home and on the beach.  Nice!  But this is the safety of my family we're talking about here, so I didn't even complain.

5. Prepare to leave empty-handed.  Prepare for a row of soldiers to slice into the crowd right in front of you and then a guy with a megaphone announces, "no more masks today  - anyone behind the soldiers, you can all go home!"  Okay, they were police, not soldiers, and they were just  kids, and they were doing their job.  I left quietly, unlike some of the other olim in our group, who started shouting at the klitah coordinator, like it's her fault.

6. However easy it was to get there, the way home will take at least 3 times longer, and involve inexplicable transit delays that leave seasoned Israelis shaking their heads and muttering "balagan.". ( Not that it takes much to get them to do THAT particular trick.)

7. At some point, you may cry. This may be a delayed reaction ; it is perfectly normal to cry in frustration and maybe even fear for your family's wellbeing, at some random point in the 24-48 hour period following this excursion.

8. Be prepared to repeat all of the above steps on the next business day / office day / full moon according to the random whims of some random Wizard - i mean bureaucrat - behind the shabby velvet curtain.

Just got home now to discover that the elevator is working, after a 2-day hiatus.  Thank you, Hashem, for small mercies... and maybe you could also help Syria sleep very, very well the next few nights?

Love, Tzivia

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Sent on the go in the Holy Land - please excuse my typos!!

p.s. wanted to include these pics to not dwell but quickly sum up what happened next.

After 7 more hours’ waiting (nearby, in Kiryat Motzkin this time) on Monday…

 

We have gas masks for the whole family!

 

Let’s hope we will never have to see what’s inside the boxes…